Today just simply sucks , is like just another home alone .
Around 4plus decided to go gym , back home around 7plus .

Everyone is not perfect , I can't be 100% ohkay all the time .
I get very upset over small little things , i believed that's a weak point of mine .
And the solution is , be alone .

Sometimes i really feels like crying out everything so badly .
I got an urge to go out now to have a walk at Pasir ris park , to run and forget everything .
I totally got no idea what happen to me , what the fuck is troubling me .
I just felt that something , something is not right .
This is not my life at all .
I may appear happy and strong the outside , but who the fuck truly understands me ?
Feels like bombing everything to Bi but i realised , idk what to say cause i have not yet figure out what's wrong with me .

Being alone today wasn't bad after all , at least Bi and I can have some time alone for ourselves if not too sticky .
But i am not used to it without Bi around me . I guess this is something that i must overcome .
I can't depend on Bi all the time , i can't .
If not when he is not part of my life next time , i will suffer real badly .
It's not that i don't have confident in this relationship .
No one knows how much i want this relationship to last forever .
But there's this saying that says "Nothing last forever" .
It's not up to me to say anyway , it takes two hands to clap .
Some things i have to let natural takes it all .
The more i want it to be this way , it won't .

*There's nothing happen between Bi and me .*

I just need somewhere to rant , and i feels abit better .
No plans for tmr , feels like going shopping alone .
Omg no , sounds so emo T.T















I'm sorry for neglecting you , i hope you do understand , i need to be alone to avoid quarrels with you dear . You know that i love you as much as you do , you know that .

I should be happy that I have Bi in my life . Not throwing my temper and attitude at him . I feels really really really bad for treating him this way for the past 4months . I am not a perfect and wonderful girlfriend like what you said Bi , i am not . Now you get it right .. ):
I still remember that strange night that you suddenly text me . That's when our love story began . After that we started to text each other everyday , every minute till i fall asleep . Then the next day we will start everything again . I never regretted choosing this path , never regretted being with you , never regretted calling you Bi .
Thankyou for showering me with your love every single day , you never once throw your temper at me . I love it when we start disturbing each other , pinching and playing with each other although it is painfullllllllllll but at least we had fun . I will never ever forget you Bi , never . You are the one who showed me a new path from my previous relationship that i had suffered . I got no idea how am i gonna thank you for all the things you had done for me so far . I wanna apologise for all the things i had made you disappointed , sad , angry and most importantly , for throwing my temper at you . You are the best boyfriend i ever had . Thanks for your understanding towards me . I swear with all my life that i will never leave you till you decide to leave me . But sometimes i do feel that you are too good enough for me Bi . I am so afraid that i will lose you due to my weak points dear , so afraid . Right now , i just wanna love and cherish you with all my heart . Just you and me , just you and me . 18 till the very end .
I love you dear .